can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize