she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
