It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
