Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
