I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
