He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
