The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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