Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize