My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
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