was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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