i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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