Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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