I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
