i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
