you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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