i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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