Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
