just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
