i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
