can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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