I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
