We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I've blown a few things in my day
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
