This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
