WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
