But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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