when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
