Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
