fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
