it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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