He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
