He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
