so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
