u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
