Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
