One girl and one boy is just not enough.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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