my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
