Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
