So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
