This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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