Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
