just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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