Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
why is half of my head shaved?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
