My room smells like vodka and shame
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
