My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
