there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
