I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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