I showed him my bush... on skype.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
