On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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