He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
