Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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