My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
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so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
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I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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