I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
