He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I want to fling myself into the sun
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
