Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
