Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
