Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
