If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
You took a bar mat shot.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
