Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
