I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You need Xanax blowdarts
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
