I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
