i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
