We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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