He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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